big girl jokes

I'm a big girl-I can laugh at this...

You know you NEED to diet when...
You dance and it makes the band skip.
Your blood type is Ragu.
You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
One mystery of life is how a two pound box of candy can make you gain five pounds.